Nothing New

It's been a while. Nothing new our exciting going on here. I made a couple of changes to my blog...I don't think a lot of people know this about me...but my husband sure does.....I crave change... when it comes to things like decorating, moving furniture, re-organizing things. Don't get me wrong in life I do not do well with change.....just my personal surroundings! My husband could live in the same house with the same furniture for ever!!! Not me! When Chris and I were first together I cant tell you how many apartments we lived in! I found one I liked with wonderful windows, or carpet, or hardwood floor...I think we lived in five different apartments. Then in 2002 we built our house.....and let me tell you, theres not much you can change about your house other than paint, that wont cost you. The way our house is lay ed out there is only one place for this and that..anyway this whole spill was to introduce you to my new pretty blog background! Have been doing quite a bit of shopping this past week getting ready for our trip to vegas! My first plane trip. (so scared :( please pray for my/our safe return) You know how shopping goes when you need to find something and you have the funds....you find NOTHING. And throw ten extra pounds in there and it is just plain misery! So I went shopping at the one place I knew would not depress me our let me down. SAM MOON! The new one just five minutes from my house just opened a couple of weeks ago, and it is glorious! It is layed out to look just like the one in Dallas, so many, many more stores are to come!!! Sidney and I went in there Thursday, I begged her to please be good for mommy, and just chill in the stroller! Who would not kill to be pushed in a stroller while shopping?? HELLO! Just a FYI to anyone who drops by the new sam moon....No strollers on Saturdays...at first this kinda of struck me the wrong way....but after my two year old made the whole experience painful...I'm surprised the even allow kids! LOL! I mean she was not behaving terrible...if she was I would have ran out of the store in mere embarrassment! She was just loudly verbally telling me she did not want to sit in the stroller...she wanted to walk!! Those ladies (the ones who worked there) were giving me the evil stink eye! Oh well!! For the ten minutes I was in there I found some cute things! I know they were saying in their foreign language what a hoodlum Sidney was....but she is my hoodlum, and she is TWO...so give me a break, stink eye ladies! So needless to say, I will have to make another trip with out my lil girl! I love to take her places with me, but it's getting hard...God bless you Mothers who do it with two kiddos.....my one wears me out!

Sunday Sid and me cleaned house, she helped me with some laundry, and then we baked brownies. Yes this is her sitting on top of the stove top! This girl is my right hand girl....if you are looking for her she is right under my feet! She did not understand WHY we needed to cook the brownies, she thought they were just fine the way they were!! Then we made sliders (mini hamburgers) I saw on tv or magazine or something, where they took a ranch packet...and mixed it with the hamburger meat to make ranch burgers! Well me and my husband who love anything mexican, spicy...I bought the fiesta ranch packet, and mixed it with the hamburger meat, and grilled them! AWESOME!! So much flavor, and spice..YUMMY! Give it a try. Wanted to watch a couple of dvd's i bought last week....but never manage to get to do that! Still have hills, housewives, and gh on the tivo to watch! I'm re-reading the twilight series again...I cant not find any good books lately...have bought three and they all stink! Anyone read anything good lately?
Well, off to catch up on tivo...husband and daughter both asleep....just the way I like it! (he he) Going to enjoy my day off tomorrow....I know I could be a much more pleasant person if I always had a three day weekend!!
Enjoy the pics of my cutie..hoodlum!! (love that fart!!)

Real Housewives

Why am I so addicted to trash? Last night I was watching real housewives New York reunion.....It's like watching a car wreck!! You know you should probably turn away, but it so good and juicy you cant stop yourself! I just love Bethanny, she just constantly has me cracking up!!! And KELLY, does anyone else think she might just be visiting from another planet? She's a little crazy! Jill she is another one of my favorites, but last night she was a little busy body! And Mrs. Dumpess....I mean countess...boy was she knocked off her thrown! Ramona this lady just needs a good anti-depressant, anti-anxiety...I mean she stresses me out, I literally have to pause and breath for her! The rest of the disaster...airs on Thursday! (can't wait!)
Then I watched The New Jersey Housewives....and I must say I think this one is gonna be my favorite! I love the whole keepin in the family aspect (that did not sound good!?) Who thought that New Jersey was so beautiful? These women are gonna be CRAZY to watch.......

Play Time

My husband and his brother finally were able to get Sidneys swing set up this weekend. Twelve hours, long hours! They both are actually pretty handy, for some reason it just takes them soooo long! I was informed by my husband that the directions stated that it would take eight to ten hours..so they did good! ;) She really loves the swing...she is not to sure on the slide yet, but it sure was nice to be outdoors!

hope it stays this pretty!

her fly is unzipped!!! lol!

why cant my hair look that cute with side swept bangs ? :(

A Letter

A Letter to my Mother:


Dear Mom,

It is so hard to believe that it has almost been a year since you left. There is not a day that has gone by that you are not a constant on my mind. There have been a lot of "firsts without you." I'm not sure why Mothers Day has been the hardest? It was so weird to go to the store, and not get you a card. I had made a lot of plans for things to do today. I was going to do something special with Sidney, and make that a tradition....We were all going to go out to eat. I was going to dress up Sidney and bring flowers to your grave, but I did not manage to do any of that. I just couldn't! I know in my twenty nine years, we have had some rough times....fights, arguments...I know that I could have been a better daughter, but I think there were times you could have been a better mother. I know with in yourself you had very hard personal struggles, lots of problems with your own parents. There were times that your depression consumed you so much, you could not see anything else. I always thought that somehow, someday that I could take that away for you. That one day you would just wake up and you could be happy! We could go and do things that mothers and daughters do! I want to tell you that I'm sorry for not understanding your depression better, I should have been more sensitive...a little kinder, reached out more. I know that is why you kept things from me...and that is why I sometimes kept things from you. I spent my time listening to your problems, but was scared to tell you mine, in fear it would make things harder on you. When I look back on mine childhood......it was good though? You were always there. Your needs were always after mine, you told me you loved me as often as the wind blew, always supported me and said that you were proud! Your greatest fear was that our relationship would turn into the one you had with your mother....and I would tell you that it would never happen. That's because despite it all...we LOVED each other. You would never intionally hurt me...nor would I you. Despite all our disagreements..we always moved on...we never would go periods with out talking. I never understood how your mother could go years with out talking to you? I could never do that to my daughter.

Sidney has grown soooo much!!! She is all over the place, telling me no, and pointing that finger. I'm sure this amuses you! That is one of the hardest parts of all of this....you not being able to see my daughter! It was nice to finally be able to see you smile...when looking at her! Your excitement to come to see her, or buy her a gift! I wish I would have had you come over more in that first year of her life, but you know how antisocial, and I can do it all...I can be!!! I'm working hard to try to change that part of me....because I now see that it hurts me too. I did not intend this to be a sad letter, I wanted you to know that Sidney and I are OK...we are happy. I wanted you to know that I love you and think of you everyday. I miss having someone love me no matter what, and tell me their proud of me, and I'm right! Thru my faults as a daughter, I will strive so hard to not make those mistakes thru being a mother. I hope in heaven that you have found the peace, that I so wish you could have had here with me!
You were a good Mother to me. Happy Mothers Day!

Your daughter,

Tracy

Rain, rain go away....

Swine/Whine. I mean how many people in our country get the flu a year...and how many unfortunate deaths do we have from the flu each year? I mean we should/and most do(me) take precautions daily. Anyway, so at the beginning of the week I was warned by day care (roll eyes here) that they were taking precautions with the swine flu...any kind of little symptom, and your child will have to go home!(and that's different from any other day...how?) So what happens Friday...you guessed it. I was away from my cell phone so they called Chris at work. So I listen to my cell phone message.....Tracy we are so sorry , but you will need to come pick up Sidney...she has had a blow out.....and as we told you at the start of the week she will need to go home. (UGHHHH) I mean come on? Really? So I get to daycare and there she is ASLEEP!!!! PERFECT!!!! So I get her up, and she is fine as can be. So I asked her teacher what was for lunch today? Already knowing that every Friday we start with a diaper rash, because they eat pizza on Friday's. The teacher tells me they had......enchiladas, beans and peaches!! I MEAN REALLY!! ( I would have a blow out!!!) So I just roll my eyes and walk out! I mean I'm not trying to make a joke or take this lightly...but the flu is bad period, it causes deaths every year...

Well, again we were not able to get the swing set up this weekend.Darn rain. We needed it badly, but Sid and I start to go stir crazy. So we hung out Saturday and watched Bride Wars. When I say we watched, what I mean is...she watches a minute of it here and there...then plays and lets me WATCH!! Now I mainly love drama, suspense, scary movies....but this was too cute, and funny... LOVED it..must watch. Below is one of the pics of Sid sitting on the couch watching bridal wars...is she not the prettiest thing ever? Where does she get that cute-ness? Hope I'm not turning her into a couch potato, a lot of pics I take she is on the couch!!??(that's why we need that swing set up daddy/kerry!!) Sunday was yard work day..Lets just say that was like mowing the amazon...so thick. Sid helped her daddy...mainly she cried and said mean daddy, but once she got the hang she was OK. Hope everyone had a great weekend!

please let me out to play.............this is what happens when you let me out to play.....i want to drink from bird bath and play in landscaping!
little baby butt crack..(love that, would kiss that, have kissed that)

off to bed.........